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This week, our accountant told us that we were flat-ass broke.

My wife blamed me by saying that I'm always spending money on stupid stuff.

I replied: "Oh yeah? Well, why don't you ask our dog if his knit hat and scarf are stupid."
 
This year is our 30th anniversary and I’m still being informed of things I evidently do wrong such as how spoons are loaded into the dishwasher. Sure, everyone knows to load spoons into the utensil holder inside the dishwasher but did you also know that spoons are to only be loaded into a specific area within the utensil holder and it’s the same area each time? But that’s not enough, the tablespoons are to only be loaded behind the teaspoons. Evidently they don’t clean properly if loaded in any other way.
 
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