Post your jokes
- Thread starter Guard Dad
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Far West
Pursuit Driver
The Sound Guy
Pursuit Driver
cptlo
Pursuit Driver
Best joke ever!!
Paxilpapa
Serenity, through modern chemistry
I don't know,,, It's a bit too ambiguous for my taste,,, took a while to get my head around it.
The Sound Guy
Pursuit Driver
cptlo
Pursuit Driver
Urine test for senior men
My urologist’s office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment would now be done over the phone due to the CCP virus. One hour before the scheduled teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test. This was to avoid those lab tests and because they're shutdown too.
Simply go outside and pee in the front yard.
If ant's gather: DIABETES.
If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE
If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL
If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS
If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER'S
My urologist’s office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment would now be done over the phone due to the CCP virus. One hour before the scheduled teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test. This was to avoid those lab tests and because they're shutdown too.
Simply go outside and pee in the front yard.
If ant's gather: DIABETES.
If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE
If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL
If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS
If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER'S
cptlo
Pursuit Driver
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me”. Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone. "She's finally gone...yeah I know, it is about time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie. I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like.” He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes. She grabbed the note to see what he wrote. "I can see your feet. We're outta bread; be back in five minutes."
True, I forgot about Merthiolate....that stuff is straight from Satan.
