Post your jokes

Hey!

Anybody interested in a FREE ride in a helicopter for 4 people?! I'm still looking for 2 more people to join us. We leave early Monday morning (May 31st) from McCollum Airport and will fly to Hilton Head South Carolina where we will have breakfast. After breakfast we will go fishing on a boat, fishing rods and reels as well as light lunch, are provided. Then we’ll get back to the helicopter to take a scenic route to Tybee Island and back to McCollum.

Please pm me ASAP if interested... (Preferably someone with a helicopter and a boat, otherwise we can't go...).
 
195513005_6362654030427528_2351658677383010582_n.jpg
 
A guy goes into a bar in Atlanta where there is a robot bartender.
The robot says, "What will you have?
The guy replies, "Whiskey."
The robot brings back his drink and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The guy say, "168."
The robot continues to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology.
After the guy leaves and the more he thinks about it, the more curious he gets, so he decides to go back.
The robot asks, "What's your drink?"
The guy answers, "Whiskey."
The robot returns with his drink and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man replies, "100."
The robot talks about Nascar, Football and Hockey.
The man finishes his drink, leaves, but is so interested in his "experiment" that he decides to try again.
He enters the bar and, as usual, the robot asks him what he want to drink.
The man replies, "Whiskey."
The robot brings the drink and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man answers, "50."
The robot leans in real close and asks, "How 'bout them dawgs?"
 
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said. "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!"
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time!"
Passenger: "Well, there are always a few clouds over everybody!"
Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy!"
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "Oh, there’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right!"
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then!"
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan!"
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his widow!"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top