"Reserved" seating

[J-man]

Is it just me or is it irritating when someone is sitting at the end of a church pew and refuses to slide over, get up, or at least shift so people can slide through to find a seat? This happened to us on Easter Sunday even though we left early in expectation of a larger than normal crowd. To add insult to injury the usher later came back to our isle and asked for people to tighten in to allow another family to sit. The man still didn't move over so we got up and made room for the family to sit where we were. I figure he's either a big church donor or a democrat with the feeling of entitlement. Next time I'll step on his foot or "crop dust" him as I slide through.

ray

 

[RNG]

People tend to wanna sit in the same place every Sunday. They think it's their seat and they don't have to move.

I remember years back when our former pastor was doing a sermon and he got to talking about how hard it is to change someone's perspective and outlook on life or daily things. He said take for instance sitting in the same seat every single Sunday in church. You get the same view from that seat each week. He then proceeded to make everyone stand up and move to a different seat. Once everyone had settled back down in their new seats, he said now see how easy that was to sit somewhere else. Look you have a new view from that seat. Don't things look different if you take the time to just sit back and take it all in before you jump in and do the same old things day in/day out. That message stuck with me for years.

Sorry I know that got off track of your post, but it reminded me of this message ;D

 

[Grey Colson]

I like the "crop dusting" idea best. Be sure to be facing the direction that will result in the most direct broadcasting of your product. :yeah

 

[unionmom]

In all fairness, do you know him well? Do you know if he has sudden bladder issues? A sick relative in the hospital? Some other issue that may cause him to need to make a quick exit without disturbing a number of people?

 

[RNG]

In all fairness, do you know him well? Do you know if he has sudden bladder issues? A sick relative in the hospital? Some other issue that may cause him to need to make a quick exit without disturbing a number of people?

There are a bunch of people at my church who sit on the end for that very reason (need to make a quick exit) but when someone needs to move into the isle you are sitting on, atleast get up and let them in. Don't make them step over you and try to slide by your legs. I have no problem with someone needing to be on the end, just be courteous to those who need to get in the pew ;D There are a few handicap or elderly people who have a hard time getting up and down and who like to sit on the end. They will sit in the very back in independent chairs so they don't have to deal with people needing to get in. Just my thoughts ;D

 

[unionmom]

I do totally agree and may have missed that point about getting up ... unless they have an issue there, too.

I guess all I'm trying to say is along the lines of walking in their shoes. I do know that there are tons of inconsiderate a$$es out there ... but there are also sometimes people whose actions are misunderstood.

 

[Genevieve]

It's all about the four temperaments. People with choleric temperaments probably would not move and might not even make it easy for you to get around them. They tend to be rude in not noticing your feelings or your convenience, but--on the plus side--they make awesome leaders and get lots, lots, lots done. I guess it takes all kinds... )

 

[LisaC]

Hubby always sits on the end of a row. He will get up and move aside for folks, but he generally has deacon duties that require him to get up during the service. His personal preference is to sit close to the front, but I'm more social - I move around.

 

[J-man]

It's all about the four temperaments. People with choleric temperaments probably would not move and might not even make it easy for you to get around them. They tend to be rude in not noticing your feelings or your convenience, but--on the plus side--they make awesome leaders and get lots, lots, lots done. I guess it takes all kinds... )

He was of the choleric bunch. Not only did he not slide over, get up, or even attempt to move so we could get by, he actually ignored us for a few awkward seconds. Those of you who know the Queen know how that went over, she was hell bent on getting through at that point and after he rudely waved his hands at us I don't blame her. He actually got off fairly easy, it could have got ugly for a second there. I completely understand those with disabilities or injuries or just old age, but at least be polite and smile because "IT AIN'T YER PEW." Oh, and by the way, pass the plate.

 

[Genevieve]

It's all about the four temperaments. People with choleric temperaments probably would not move and might not even make it easy for you to get around them. They tend to be rude in not noticing your feelings or your convenience, but--on the plus side--they make awesome leaders and get lots, lots, lots done. I guess it takes all kinds... )

He was of the choleric bunch. Not only did he not slide over, get up, or even attempt to move so we could get by, he actually ignored us for a few awkward seconds. Those of you who know the Queen know how that went over, she was hell bent on getting through at that point and after he rudely waved his hands at us I don't blame her. He actually got off fairly easy, it could have got ugly for a second there. I completely understand those with disabilities or injuries or just old age, but at least be polite and smile because "IT AIN'T YER PEW." Oh, and by the way, pass the plate.

:laugh :laugh Hee hee! I love a standoff between two cholerics!!!

 

[unionmom]

It's all about the four temperaments. People with choleric temperaments probably would not move and might not even make it easy for you to get around them. They tend to be rude in not noticing your feelings or your convenience, but--on the plus side--they make awesome leaders and get lots, lots, lots done. I guess it takes all kinds... )

He was of the choleric bunch. Not only did he not slide over, get up, or even attempt to move so we could get by, he actually ignored us for a few awkward seconds. Those of you who know the Queen know how that went over, she was hell bent on getting through at that point and after he rudely waved his hands at us I don't blame her. He actually got off fairly easy, it could have got ugly for a second there. I completely understand those with disabilities or injuries or just old age, but at least be polite and smile because "IT AIN'T YER PEW." Oh, and by the way, pass the plate.

Might have been time for a come to Jesus meeting with that attitude. You should have stepped on his foot.

 

[Hankster]

Maybe he is like me. I sit at the end of the pew so I don't have to be sandwiched between people I don't know.

 

[deewee]

Doesn't matter to me where I sit. I'll sit in the middle as long as the folks on the end don't mind my butt in their face, if they don't get up, when I want in or out of the pew. )

 

[Guard Dad]

Cropdusting is always a good idea. I do it in the choir all the time.

 

[RNG]

Maybe he is like me. I sit at the end of the pew so I don't have to be sandwiched between people I don't know.

I agree..Lots of people like sitting on the end so they are not in between people, but I am sure you have the common sense and are nice enough to either shift your legs or get up to let people in. Just ignoring people and not moving over like the guy he was referring to is just rude.

 

[Grey Colson]

It's all about the four temperaments. People with choleric temperaments probably would not move and might not even make it easy for you to get around them. They tend to be rude in not noticing your feelings or your convenience, but--on the plus side--they make awesome leaders and get lots, lots, lots done. I guess it takes all kinds... )

He was of the choleric bunch. Not only did he not slide over, get up, or even attempt to move so we could get by, he actually ignored us for a few awkward seconds. Those of you who know the Queen know how that went over, she was hell bent on getting through at that point and after he rudely waved his hands at us I don't blame her. He actually got off fairly easy, it could have got ugly for a second there. I completely understand those with disabilities or injuries or just old age, but at least be polite and smile because "IT AIN'T YER PEW." Oh, and by the way, pass the plate.

:laugh :laugh Hee hee! I love a standoff between two cholerics!!!

The doctor told me on my last visit that my choleric level was too high and put me on temporary medication for it. :laugh

 

[Grey Colson]

Cropdusting is always a good idea. I do it in the choir all the time.

And this whole time I thought attendance was low because of the 7-11 music :whistle :laugh

 

[mei lan]

Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post would say that it's rude to occupy the end of a pew (or row in a theatre without reserved seating) without moving to allow others access to a seat either by moving to the center or getting up to allow people to pass by them. I agree with them. Manners and gentility are all about making others feel comfortable and welcome.

However, there a couple of exceptions that I would note - one is what unionmom mentioned. Perhaps he doesn't feel well and wants to be able to sit where he can get out easily. The second is what LisaC mentioned...a person has a job during the church service and needs easy access to the aisle.

The third one is what may have happened here, and why I would cut him some slack. Many, MANY people only attend church at Christmas and Easter. Perhaps he's not even a believer and just attended because a relative asked him to or someone at church invited him. Perhaps he didn't grow up in church, and he doesn't understand the need to be charitable. Perhaps he has even been done wrong by a church member and has a chip on his shoulder. Perhaps his wife is dying and he's lost all hope and attended church as a last desperate grasp for some encouragement. Either which way, I think if Jesus had been there, He would have killed him with kindness, so to speak.

 

[LisaC]

Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post would say that it's rude to occupy the end of a pew (or row in a theatre without reserved seating) without moving to allow others access to a seat either by moving to the center or getting up to allow people to pass by them. I agree with them. Manners and gentility are all about making others feel comfortable and welcome.

However, there a couple of exceptions that I would note - one is what unionmom mentioned. Perhaps he doesn't feel well and wants to be able to sit where he can get out easily. The second is what LisaC mentioned...a person has a job during the church service and needs easy access to the aisle.

The third one is what may have happened here, and why I would cut him some slack. Many, MANY people only attend church at Christmas and Easter. Perhaps he's not even a believer and just attended because a relative asked him to or someone at church invited him. Perhaps he didn't grow up in church, and he doesn't understand the need to be charitable. Perhaps he has even been done wrong by a church member and has a chip on his shoulder. Perhaps his wife is dying and he's lost all hope and attended church as a last desperate grasp for some encouragement. Either which way, I think if Jesus had been there, He would have killed him with kindness, so to speak.

The hubby refers to those as "CEOs" - Christmas/Easter Only folks. You treat them like CEOs because you want them to feel like they are the most important people there. If you don't make them feel welcome, they won't be back.