S/O -What Does This Mean To You? (Warning, Bible talk)

Guard Dad

Guard Dad

Administrator
Staff member
One of the most controversial and misunderstood parts of the Bible. Lot's of non-Christians love to take this out of context and try to make it mean something very different. They love to leave out verse 25-33 which lays out the man's responsibility to his wife.

Ephesians 5:22-33

New International Version (NIV)

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Click to expand...
 
Back up the train there dude. Why is it everyone wants to start out with verse 22 from this chapter of Ephesians? You should start with verse 21, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Verse 21 establishes the foundation on which the marriage should be built upon - reverance to Christ.

The husband is supposed to be the spiritual leader of the house. He is to provide for her and care for her. He is responsible for helping her grow as a Christian. He can't do that if he's not doing anything to grow in his relationship with the Lord. If he is living up to his responsibilty in being the spiritual leader of the home, they are continuing to grow TOGETHER. This is why it is necessary to be equally yoked.

When he loves his wife as much as he loves himself; he will do nothing to intentionally harm her as he would not do anything to intentionally harm himself. He wold care for her as he cares for himself. She in turn must respect him. She is not respecting him if she is making other things a higher priortiy than her husband.

I could go into a lot more detail, but that's my Reader's Digest version. I have to be going to bed.
 
I don't have a ton of time to expound right now, but bottom line is that I believe that if a man stands tall for the right things and puts his wife first above all (except God) and genuinely cares for her best so that she understands that he puts her above everything (without being a whiny, clingy, needy dysfunctional dweeb), she will then not have a problem respecting him and following his lead. By this I do not mean the man has to balance the checkbook and the wife has to do all the cooking, etc. I'm talking about attitudes.

This is why I said in the engaged thread that I couldn't marry a man I didn't respect. I'm strong-willed, opinionated, can look after myself, etc., and any man who couldn't deal with that couldn't earn my respect. In fact, one of the closest times I ever came to marriage was to a WONDERFUL man who was just the sweetest, kindest, most caring person ever. And a total squish. I knew it would never work. He would just let me handle everything, make all the decisions, etc., and I wouldn't have been able to respect him. Now, he's married to a WONDERFUL girl who is as laid-back and unassuming as he is, so IMHO, they are perfect for each other. Had I married him, however, I would have steamrolled over him in two minutes flat, and that's with me trying not to!

Funny how this works - God gave men the capacity for immense love, and what women need most is to be loved by a man they respect. God also gave women the capacity for immense respect, and what men need most is to be respected by the woman they love.

I could go on and on, but I'm busy at work today. Perhaps tonight after I get home. I'll be interested to hear other comments as well.
 
I once hear a pastor sum this up very nicely. "Women, submit to your husband's lead. Men, submit to your wife's need".

If a man loves a woman as Christ loves the Church, it makes it a LOT easier for a woman to submit to his lead. I'm not laying fault at the husband's feet, or anyone else's. We are human and CAN NOT live in matrimonial harmony without Christ. It is simply impossible in our human nature. But I liked his summation of this scripture. :)
 
I will also add this (and I really do have to work!) - women can't just conjure up respect out of thin air. A man must be worthy of respect before a woman can give it from her heart. So in my sister and BIL's case, he was adamant in his refusal to deal with pornography and put these fake, airbrushed women ahead of her. And she could not respect him. He also didn't make her feel secure with his job position, in that he would change willy-nilly. Women do NOT like to feel insecure. That will also kill respect.

People blame Eve for that whole apple episode in the Garden of Eden. But I submit (and this will be controversial to some) that the moral failure greater than Eve's was that of Adam. Adam not only didn't protect her from exposure to the snake, and not only didn't try to dissuade her from believing the snake, and not only didn't stop her from eating the fruit, but he actively blamed HER when God came 'round and said hey what ya'll been doin'. That is a profile of a man unworthy of the respect of his wife.

I will also say this, however. (Lord, I have GOT to get back to work! Y'all stop botherin' me!) Women do need to understand that even though the man may not be the man he SHOULD be, that they should respect the OFFICE the man holds as head of the home. As in, I could not possibly respect the man Barack Obama less than I do. But I respect the OFFICE of POTUS, and as such, if I met him, I would address him as Mr. President, shake his hand, and wish him well. Oh, and PRAY for him, as the Bible commands us to pray for those in authority over us.

In the same way, men should show love to their wives even though the wives may not be very lovely for whatever reason. You simply cannot fathom how far true love and acceptance and understanding, especially in bad times, go in building loyalty and respect and love in a woman towards her husband.
 
Maybe in a perfect world.....but I find that some men are at different levels with their walk with God .....Not sure if I explained that well.....I guess I really don't know how to explain it.....Most men start with verse 22 and ends with 22...that's all they see.....LOL
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top