Okay.... again, not really a joke but an observation from a conversation.
I ran a few errands today and on my way out I grabbed a black messenger bag...... and The TrophyWife commented:
"What's up with the bag? You're carrying a messenger bag??"
My answer:
"Yeah, okay, lemme tell ya; this same time last year, when running errands, I would carry my car keys and my billfold..... However, 2020 ain't anything like 2019; it damn sure ain't.
This year I carry my car keys and my billfold..... but in addition to these two essential items I now also carry: hand sanitizer, two separate face masks, a ninja knife, a pocket copy of the United States Constitution, pepper spray, bleach wipes, my 'last will & testament' and a small bottle of holy water (just to be safe)."
Besides it's a pretty cool bag.
.... and yes, Guard Dad, it matches my shoes.
carry on.