What have we done to marriage?

Madea

Madea

zip a dee doo dah
Marriage isn't going well in the US, and doesn't look like it's going to well in the UK either.

UK studies claim that married couples fight 300 days/year. There's more to it. I heard it on the radio, but haven't found the link yet.


Here's one on pre-nups: http://news.oneindia.in/2010/10/11/44pcof-engaged-couples-demand-prenups-beforemarriage.html

When did our views of marriage become so twisted?
 
I think part of the problem is people don't raise their children to learn that you have to work hard at the things you want most. Too many people think that if you have to work at something it isn't worth it.
 
Foxmeister said:
I think part of the problem is people don't raise their children to learn that you have to work hard at the things you want most. Too many people think that if you have to work at something it isn't worth it.
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I agree. I guess I'm just looking for where the tide shifted. And how can we go back, if we even can.
 
Madea said:
I agree. I guess I'm just looking for where the tide shifted. And how can we go back, if we even can.
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The 60s and the damn hippies. Free love and all that crap. How to go back? Don't know.
 
It's selfishness. Pure and simple. People want what they want, when they want it. They don't care to work it out. If their "needs" aren't being met, they walk away.

As I talk to other women and try to help them when facing hard problems, one thing that always kills me is that they claim their husbands don't show them enough affection, value their opinion, do enough things to help them... But as they're talking, they'll say, "I get tired of it. I cut him off. I'm not about to do anything for him. I don't care what he thinks." etc. etc.

I know that I'm blessed beyond measure with a wonderful husband. I'm also divorced. People fall in love with the romance of a new relationship or with an ideal of what marriage will be like. Those things don't last. I tell people all the time, the most beautiful thing in the world is not falling in love....it's falling in love AGAIN. Working through the hard stuff and fighting for each other and your family. That's the good stuff.
 
Marriage is hard work. You have to want to invest yourself into it to make it successful. Divorce rates started to sky rocket in the late 60s and gradually got worse each decade following.
 
Look what a snowball effect we've created. More delinquent kids, more teen pregnancies, more drugs.
 
Some of, maybe much of, the blame is on the media. Show me a TV program where the wife and kids respect the husband/daddy.
 
deewee said:
Some of, maybe much of, the blame is on the media. Show me a TV program where the wife and kids respect the husband/daddy.
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Good point. They like to make the husband/daddy look like the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.
 
deewee said:
Some of, maybe much of, the blame is on the media. Show me a TV program where the wife and kids respect the husband/daddy.
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Not just programs...the commercials are simply AWFUL many times.
 
I enjoy a little joke on my husband, but there's no way I would emasculate him like many of the men are treated on TV. Yeah, I know it's just a TV show, the scripts are written to get laughs and ratings, but TV has a HUGE influence on human behavior.

If we let trash in, then that's what is gonna come back out. TV shows/sitcoms just happen to be one of my "soapbox" subjects. LOL
 
wow I just found this thread...ok, so here is my two cents:

Marriage is hard. Noone tells people that anymore. When Jason and I got married I was YOUUUUUUNG. I can't count how many people told us we wouldn't make it past a year...for what its worth, we are working on 16.
Of all the discouraging news we got noone told us it would be hard. We got told how love doesn't pay the bills blah blah blah but noone said, there will be days you simply don't like each other. They never said work through it because the next day you will love each other more.
When my sister got married, I threw her a bridal shower and had each guest write her a "recipe" for a happy marriage on a recipe card and I put them all in a little book for her. My "recipe"? Work HARD! A marriage requires hard work and when you stop working, so does the marriage.

There have been a million times it would have been easier for both Jason and I to throw in the towel, but I'm sure glad we didn't. Do I love him the same as I did the day we got married? NO. I love him sooooo much more today than I did that day. He is my husband, my lover, and most importantly, he is my best friend.

Ok, enough rambling....It was all the hippies fault! I agree with Mei Lan...
 
lol @hippies. I'm a child of the 60s and 70s. Woodstock was the biggest event of my time!! I wasn't old enough to go but I remember the stories and the movie!!

I agree with many here, it's much harder to stay married than it is to get divorced. My advice, stay with it, work at it everyday. There will be times when you don't want to be in the same room, but like CC said, it's only temporary. Besides what are you going to do?? Stay single the rest of your life?? Nope, you're probably going to get married again.

Unless you are in a situation that is threatening, turn around and go back in that door. When you're my age you will be glad you did.

Can we fix it?? Only through our children, we are the example they see, we are the reason they go the direction they do. Marriage is not perfect, but neither am I.
 
And to whomever said it was TV's fault...I agree! Look at the difference between the way Ward Cleaver was treated and the way say, Jay from Modern Family...totally different.
 
Madea said:
How do we fix the mess we've made? Or is it even possible?
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I choose to live by example .. I PRAY that my daughter has an amazing marriage like her dad and I do. We hardly ever fight and I can truly say he is my bff
 
Marriage will continue to erode in this country because things like morality, truth, honor, code......(no wait, that was A Few Good Men), let me back up..........honor, sacrifice, love, responsibility, and commitment are all under attack. We are a society who demands "sitcom" results with no investments. It is sad to see people putting marriage into conversations with immorality such as "civil unions" and "gay marriage". Marriage was instituted by God for one man and one woman with explicit instructions to have children and raise them up in the way of the Lord. Anything else is far less than what God demands. You remove God, you remove marriage. Without that example here on earth, we could never understand the marriage of the Lamb to His bride and the day He comes back to get her.
 
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