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Joe Biden Beats Out Brussels Sprouts For America's Least Favorite Vegetable
U.S.—A new Gallup Poll shows President Biden beating out the infamous Brussels Sprout for America's least favorite vegetable. The poll, partially conducted as a survey for TV's Family Feud, has been criticized by the Biden administration as "unfair."

Press Secretary Jen Psaki addressed the polling data during her daily press briefing. "The president feels, and we agree, that he's not a vegetable because he occasionally moves around sometimes. A Brussel sprout or, excuse me, 'Brussels sprout' doesn't move. It is literally a vegetable. The president also feels that he tastes much better."

"Besides," Psaki continued. "We believe that while the president may be a less favorable vegetable, his being a vegetable is a major boon for us as a nation. Vegetables make you strong like Wolverine or Colossus."

The majority of the press in attendance appeared to be satisfied with the answer. Fox News Reporter Peter Doocy, however, pressed the issue. "But everyone hates Brussels sprouts!"

Psaki did not respond to Doocy's statement, but President Biden did later call him a "stupid shepherd's pie."

At publishing time, Jen Psaki apologized for implying that people in a vegetative state are like the X-Men.


 
I visited my doctor yesterday and he diagnosed me with a dual personality disorder.
That's right, I seem to have two distinctly different personalities.

He then gave me the bill for the office visit; it was $84.00.
I wrote him a check for $42.00 and he said: "Where's the rest of my money??"

I told him: "Get it from the other guy."
 
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