Christmas decorated yards.
Those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, would you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together?
Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my beer out the window, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat - all while trying to drive. It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don't do birthdays.
Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
OFFICER : Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
OFFICER : Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think.
OFFICER : Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.
OFFICER : What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
OFFICER : What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
OFFICER : What kind of truck was it?
Husband : A 2017, manufactured September 16th, pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 .with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires.
It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.
At this point the husband started choking up.
OFFICER : Take it easy sir, We'll find your truck.